All of Atari Karts’ identity comes from its music, and that’s not saying much. Winning a race calls upon a piano-like sonata that either is appropriate for a funeral or the alternate opening of Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”
Because Bentley Bear was meant to match with Tyler. Or something.
Atari Karts trailed the end of the Jaguar’s lifespan, an Atari exec probably rallying this one as a last ditch effort to secure market share. If anything, it’s an example of why the console failed in the first place, offering plentiful cushion within the bulky hardware specs to do just about anything other than this. Instead, it’s hiding behind a bevy of fluidly shaded backdrops, as if color is some type of cure all.
It’s not like Atari, or the Atari in 1995, was destined for a kart racer. Their back catalog was rich with character 12 or 15-years prior, Karts fitted here with references, not nostalgia or memories. Only Bentley Bear himself has any Atari connotation in the character selection, the leading star of Crystal Castles. It’s a wonder why Jaguar non-stand out Trevor McFur isn’t peddling away somewhere in the game with character decisions like that.
The other references are so obscure only the hardest of hardcore will recognize them, like Borregas Cup. That’s the street address of Atari’s old HQ, and you can only get the in-joke if you can read the font used for the menus. Anyone who rallies against Comic Sans has clearly never played Atari Karts, which carries lettering that looks like it was born from the combined work of a graffiti artist and an early German expressionist filmmaker.
Quirks in music and menu design can be overcome, except when you’re dealing with Atari Karts. For all of its clear knock-off vibes and lackadaisical execution, the crime here is simply being boring. Track designs feel pasted together from a selection of general corners, power-ups don’t exist in any substantial form, and there’s more pressure to not bump into somebody than avoid objects on the road. The rubbery, bouncy make-up of the vehicles send them scattering out of the gate, and once you break free, the whole thing feels aimless.
There’s simply no marketable or visible personality here, no character, and no push to create something that could legitimize the frail hardware. In a lot of ways, it feels like a dearth of early ’90s DOS translations, games that struggled to find a niche between being visually arresting and remaining compelling in their gameplay. Most didn’t, publishers and developers aiming for captivating screen shots first, and at a glance, Atari Karts looks fine.
Even in motion, it’s a crisp, smooth ride, but so is driving down an abandoned highway in a feature-less Kia. That doesn’t necessarily make it enjoyable, or for that matter memorable. To imagine Atari Karts, you’d also have to get that Kia stuck on flat, featureless objects on the road, because someone thought that was a good idea too. Shockingly, much like the game as a whole, it wasn’t.
No Comments »
Bully: Scholarship Edition Review. Classic Game Room presents a CGRundertow review of Bully for the Xbox 360. Released on the 360 for the first time in 2008, this game was developed and published by Rockstar. It’s been the subject of quite a bit of controversy, but that doesn’t stop it from being a great open-world game with a good sense of humor. Although it isn’t quite on the same level of the Grand Theft Auto games, it could still be a big time-sink. This CGRundertow review features gameplay and commentary from CGR’s Gabe.
CGRundertow – Bully: Scholarship Edition for Xbox 360 Video Review >> 
Boom Boom Rocket Review. Classic Game Room presents a CGRundertow video game review of Boom Boom Rocket, a rhythmic fireworks display developed by Bizzare Creations and published in 2007 by EA for Xbox Live Arcade. Shoot you like a whatnow? This isn’t DDR 1st mix, no, this is Boom Boom Rocket, the game where Fantavision meets BanYa in action-packed arrangements of public domain music. Using your 360 controller, or your dance pads, or even a guitar controller, it’s an explosive trip (machine) through cityscapes lit by exploding music. Unfortunately, it’s also a right bear to read. This CGRundertow video game review features video gameplay footage of Boom Boom Rocket for the Xbox 360 and audio commentary from Classic Game Room’s TJ.
New York
Visit Uncrate for the full post.
Visit Uncrate for the full post.
Visit Uncrate for the full post.
Visit Uncrate for the full post.
Florida, Mississippi, South Carolina, & Tennessee
No Comments »
Three new Square Enix titles are now available for download at the PlayStation Store:
Kane & Lynch: Dead Men $14.99
Kane & Lynch: Dead Men follows the violent and chaotic journey of two men – a flawed mercenary and a medicated psychopath – and their brutal attitude towards right and wrong. This volatile partnership combined with innovative technologies allow for an unparalleled gaming experience. Kane & Lynch: Dead Men will immerse players into an emotionally intense crime drama with unflinching action.
Kane & Lynch: Dog Days $19.99
Play as two of gamings most disturbing and realistic criminals; Lynch – an impulsive, reckless self-medicated psychopath, and Kane &nash; a tactical and calculating ex-mercenary. Experience their desperate and frantic fight to escape through the back streets and rooftops of Shanghai’s gritty underworld. They can trust no one, not even each other, as the cracks begin to appear in Lynch’s sanity and Kane’s stability. It’s kill of be killed.
Mini Ninjas $19.99
In Mini Ninjas the main character is the small ninja, Hiro. Although he has shown great promise, Hiro is the last ninja that anyone would expect to save the world, yet that is exactly what he is called to do when an evil samurai warlord hatches a plan bent on total world domination. In this plan the evil lord attempts to recapture the dominion he held prior to previously being cast out by creating an army of samurai slaves out of innocent animals. In the process of doing this he also upsets the natural balance of the the world, causing catastrophic storms. This the mini ninjas can not stand for. Armed with authentic ninja weapons and powerful spells, Hiro must rescue the fellow ninjas of his clan who the warlord has captured and then lead them on an exciting journey to battle the magical army of twisted Samurai.
Haven’t visited the crazy world of Kane & Lynch for a while? Let’s take a walk down memory lane:
No Comments »
